Skip to main content

How did they go?

When you hear of someone's passing, are you more concerned with how the survivors are dealing with it or, perhaps, are you most interested in hearing how the recently deceased left this world?


As you are pondering this question, here are some Jack Handy quotes to influence you:

  • I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. "Get down!" yelled Uncle Lou. "Don't move!" screamed Grandma. But Grandpa wouldn't listen. He walked to the edge of the roof and stuck out his arms, like he was going to fly. I forget what happened after that.
  • Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.
  • My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.
  • If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture.
And my personal favorite:
  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather - not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Headlights and Tail Lights, Angels and Demons

We were driving home late the other night and Nathan said, "I like to think of the tail lights in front of us as devils." "And I like to think of the headlights behind us as Angels." "We are leading the battle of Angels and we're chasing all of the devils." I loved the creativity and imagination.  I had to share.  Driving at night will never be the same.  I have a feeling those words will stick with me. I thought a bit beyond his description and thought of those who pass me on the freeway.  They were once the Angels following me into battle.  Are they now Angels in the lead or the demons we chase?  
Post a Comment
Read more

A Father's Love

The other night, my wife and I were walking out of Walmart and saw a father with two young children.  Just before he left the store and went out into the cold night, the children both looked up at their dad and raised their arms above their heads, looking for comfort from the cold and icy conditions.  He bent down and scooped them up and carried them in each of his arms. Watching the man carrying two children, Coralee looked at me and said, "I remember those days." We both reflected on how quickly time has passed since our children were little.  Days seem to pass more quickly now and it is so easy to get caught up in the crazy and hectic routine that is our lives presently.  It isn't often there is time to slow down and reflect on those days of early parenting.  I speak as though the best memories have passed, but memories continue to be made everyday. Watching this father caused me to reflect on tender moments.  Our youngest is nearly eight years old. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Hollywood's Best Kept Secret

Are you looking for free entertainment?  Bring your family, a few lawn chairs and an hour or two of your time and you won’t be disappointed.  The stage?  A backyard.  The entertainment?  A couple of horses, 13 chickens and a funny looking bald guy.  The only thing that could improve the performance is if the bald man could somehow figure out how to juggle the chickens while standing on a horse’s back.  I’m working on the juggling act. I have a friend that admitted he’s buying the home behind me because of the entertainment value.  He said when people figure out “Hollywood’s Best Kept Secret”, the home values around me will increase dramatically.  Last year, I bought two horses from a mule ranch in Moab.  Mules are smart.  They test fences by bumping them with their chests.  They will then rise up on their hind legs and leap over the fence like a gazelle.  One of my horses learned the fence jumping skill from ...
6 comments
Read more