As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are taught that when we pray, we address our Father in Heaven. We then thank Him for ... (fill in the blanks here) and then we ask Him for ... (fill in the blanks here). We then close in the name of Jesus Christ. I have understood this order of prayer since I was a child......keep that in mind as you read this post.
I graduated High School in 1989. In my small town, and a graduating class of 63 students, the High School graduation ceremony is a big event. People from the entire community come out to celebrate their kin's accomplishment of being able to read, write and do some math.
In the year, 1989, it was still okay to open and close a secular graduation ceremony with a prayer. A few days before the big event, I was asked to be prepared to give the opening prayer.
I was filled with so much anxiety and nervousness about this task; I petitioned my dad for some help in what to say in this prayer. Being the wonderful father that he is, he spent hours in writing out my prayer on 3"x5" cards. The next morning, he presented me with about a dozen of the cards....a truly spectacular, and may I say, prophetic format. This definitely was MUCH better than the 15 second prayer I would have given if left to my own devices.
On the big night, my fellow classmates and I sat on the stage; draped in gowns and wearing caps with yellow tassels. I would be the first to approach the podium.
I tried to conceal the 3"x5" cards inside my sleeve. What an embarrassment if my classmates knew the prayer was written out; nonetheless, by my father.
As I stood up and walked forward, I dropped the cards all over the stage. I think I heard someone gasp. I couldn't tell if it was someone sitting in the congregation, or perhaps someone sitting behind me. I was wearing pants, so the audible must have come from the crowd before me.
I scrambled to pick up the cards, but a new dilemma presented itself. All of the cards were out of order. I hadn't numbered the cards, so I had no idea where to begin....where the middle was...or even the end. Oh well! What can I do now?
I believe I opened the prayer to a God that was not my God. Fortunately, the microphone wasn't working, so only the first few people in the rows below would have heard me. I pressed forward thinking the lack of audio was a blessing. Perhaps I was praying to the right God.
The prayer didn't flow well. As I would finish the wording on one card and move onto the next, the sentence structure would go something like: On this commencement day...blandness and blahs, Lord, be our salt.
Part way through the prayer, someone figured out the microphone wasn't working and turned it on. The audio level hadn't been checked previously, so when the speakers surged to life, and with my attempt at projecting my voice out to everyone present, the audio components revolted with a howl and a screech. It was so piercing that everyone looked up to see what was happening while closing their ears off to the sound by shoving fingers into them.
I continued.... And make life with its problems....our education, our knowledge and our skills.
We beg the all-merciful Father for the gift of piety: to clothe ourselves with.... our adversary's onslaught.
I started to wonder if I had re-rounded on the cards....some of the words were looking very familiar. Maybe I should wrap this up. How do I end this thing?
"In the name of YOUR HOLY GOD, AMEN!"
As the congregation concurred with an audible, "Amen," I raised my hand and motioned my hand back and forth; from left to right. As I think back on it now, I think many probably thought I was either offering my blessing to everyone or casting a spell.
When I returned to my seat, my buddy next to me said, "Dude! What religion do you belong to?"
On that particular night, I'm not even sure I knew.
I graduated High School in 1989. In my small town, and a graduating class of 63 students, the High School graduation ceremony is a big event. People from the entire community come out to celebrate their kin's accomplishment of being able to read, write and do some math.
In the year, 1989, it was still okay to open and close a secular graduation ceremony with a prayer. A few days before the big event, I was asked to be prepared to give the opening prayer.
I was filled with so much anxiety and nervousness about this task; I petitioned my dad for some help in what to say in this prayer. Being the wonderful father that he is, he spent hours in writing out my prayer on 3"x5" cards. The next morning, he presented me with about a dozen of the cards....a truly spectacular, and may I say, prophetic format. This definitely was MUCH better than the 15 second prayer I would have given if left to my own devices.
On the big night, my fellow classmates and I sat on the stage; draped in gowns and wearing caps with yellow tassels. I would be the first to approach the podium.
I tried to conceal the 3"x5" cards inside my sleeve. What an embarrassment if my classmates knew the prayer was written out; nonetheless, by my father.
As I stood up and walked forward, I dropped the cards all over the stage. I think I heard someone gasp. I couldn't tell if it was someone sitting in the congregation, or perhaps someone sitting behind me. I was wearing pants, so the audible must have come from the crowd before me.
I scrambled to pick up the cards, but a new dilemma presented itself. All of the cards were out of order. I hadn't numbered the cards, so I had no idea where to begin....where the middle was...or even the end. Oh well! What can I do now?
I believe I opened the prayer to a God that was not my God. Fortunately, the microphone wasn't working, so only the first few people in the rows below would have heard me. I pressed forward thinking the lack of audio was a blessing. Perhaps I was praying to the right God.
The prayer didn't flow well. As I would finish the wording on one card and move onto the next, the sentence structure would go something like: On this commencement day...blandness and blahs, Lord, be our salt.
Part way through the prayer, someone figured out the microphone wasn't working and turned it on. The audio level hadn't been checked previously, so when the speakers surged to life, and with my attempt at projecting my voice out to everyone present, the audio components revolted with a howl and a screech. It was so piercing that everyone looked up to see what was happening while closing their ears off to the sound by shoving fingers into them.
I continued.... And make life with its problems....our education, our knowledge and our skills.
We beg the all-merciful Father for the gift of piety: to clothe ourselves with.... our adversary's onslaught.
I started to wonder if I had re-rounded on the cards....some of the words were looking very familiar. Maybe I should wrap this up. How do I end this thing?
"In the name of YOUR HOLY GOD, AMEN!"
As the congregation concurred with an audible, "Amen," I raised my hand and motioned my hand back and forth; from left to right. As I think back on it now, I think many probably thought I was either offering my blessing to everyone or casting a spell.
When I returned to my seat, my buddy next to me said, "Dude! What religion do you belong to?"
On that particular night, I'm not even sure I knew.
Dude! That's the funniest freaking thing I've read in a long time! I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes! Hahahahaha!! I remember that prayer well-- you opened, Oh God, Sweet Jesus, or something like that. I nearly wet myself laughing. Your whole graduating class is screwed up because of the blessing you pronounced on them that day. HAHAHA!!!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha! It's still just as funny when it's not 3:50 AM! I'm still crying!
ReplyDeleteThat's a really good story! So funny! I'll have to ask Mel if she remembers that, weren't you in the same grade?
ReplyDeleteI thought of you the other day when I went to drink my freshly pored Rootbeer and there was a died fly in it! Honestly, I pored it into my glass, went to drink, and there it was. My first thought was "oh grosh", but then I though "at least it wasn't a bee that I could have swallowed and have it sting me so that I died." Thanks again for that story!
Yes, Mel and I did graduate the same year. That day still haunts me.
ReplyDeletePlease tell Coralle Happy birthday! for us! Tell her that we wish her a very happy day! Thanks dude!
ReplyDeleteI totally remember your sweet oblation. I honestly thought you were about to whip out a golden calf and slaughter up a small sheep to it, especially when you started doing the hallelujah dance at the end.
ReplyDeleteThis is so vivid to me, I gotta think it was me that asked your what religion you belonged to.