I sat in Sunday School today, quietly hiding myself amongst the sheep of the flock to avoid being called on for prayers and/or scriptures, etc. (You see, this is what men do. We do not like to be called upon to make idiots of ourselves).
"Brother Moser, what can you learn from this scripture that was just read?"
I clear my throat and look around the room. I think to myself, "Will I ever see these people again?" You see....this is how we justify our actions. We always look around the room and wonder if we'll see these people again. As long as the answer is no, I can act the part of the real me.
Unfortunately, I know I will see these people again next week. Darn!
"I learn from this scripture that I need to attend my meetings on Sunday, pray regularly and do my home teaching!" Ooops! I realize that is my standard answer to the priesthood questions....."do my home teaching!" Too late to change that now. I should have been paying attention.
"Well, thank you Brother Moser, but what Nephi was telling us is that he saw Columbus arrive on this continent." The teacher retreats from me and continues...
"Oh, yes, that's right....he was doing his home teaching. His families lived a little farther away than mine do. At least he caught them home."
Was that comment dripping with sarcasm? Hmmmm......When I get home today, I'll put the home up for sell. I just made a complete idiot of myself....again! It is either move away or become inactive.....or perhaps join the Gospel Essentials class until I make a fool of myself there.
I have found that a better solution to being called on, is to keep your head down. Occasionally, I'll have my scriptures open, balancing precariously in my hands. Every few minutes it is important to drop your scriptures and wipe drool away from your face. A sublte snore is also crucial. This gives all around you the impression that you are having a vision of your own. The only better solution is to wear a sign around your neck that says, DO NOT DISTURB!
With my head down, I took special notice to my hands. I need a manicure. Time to pull out my 'nifty pocket tool kit' and attempt minor surgery on my cuticles. As I am prodding and poking and filing and smoking, I pause for a few minutes and slowly raise my head to make sure the teacher doesn't see me making eye contact. As I scope out my surroundings, I notice every man in the room is also giving special attention to his hands and fingernails. I am looking like a fool again, so I put my 'nifty pocket tool kit' back in my pocket.
I am now consciously aware that all the men in the room keep their heads down and manicure their nails during the lesson. It doesn't take long to realize that I could be at a crowded airport, and I could pick out the church goer versus the non-church goer. Never again will it be difficult for me to figure out who is in need of the missionaries....for by their hands, you shall know them.
"Brother Moser, what can you learn from this scripture that was just read?"
I clear my throat and look around the room. I think to myself, "Will I ever see these people again?" You see....this is how we justify our actions. We always look around the room and wonder if we'll see these people again. As long as the answer is no, I can act the part of the real me.
Unfortunately, I know I will see these people again next week. Darn!
"I learn from this scripture that I need to attend my meetings on Sunday, pray regularly and do my home teaching!" Ooops! I realize that is my standard answer to the priesthood questions....."do my home teaching!" Too late to change that now. I should have been paying attention.
"Well, thank you Brother Moser, but what Nephi was telling us is that he saw Columbus arrive on this continent." The teacher retreats from me and continues...
"Oh, yes, that's right....he was doing his home teaching. His families lived a little farther away than mine do. At least he caught them home."
Was that comment dripping with sarcasm? Hmmmm......When I get home today, I'll put the home up for sell. I just made a complete idiot of myself....again! It is either move away or become inactive.....or perhaps join the Gospel Essentials class until I make a fool of myself there.
I have found that a better solution to being called on, is to keep your head down. Occasionally, I'll have my scriptures open, balancing precariously in my hands. Every few minutes it is important to drop your scriptures and wipe drool away from your face. A sublte snore is also crucial. This gives all around you the impression that you are having a vision of your own. The only better solution is to wear a sign around your neck that says, DO NOT DISTURB!
With my head down, I took special notice to my hands. I need a manicure. Time to pull out my 'nifty pocket tool kit' and attempt minor surgery on my cuticles. As I am prodding and poking and filing and smoking, I pause for a few minutes and slowly raise my head to make sure the teacher doesn't see me making eye contact. As I scope out my surroundings, I notice every man in the room is also giving special attention to his hands and fingernails. I am looking like a fool again, so I put my 'nifty pocket tool kit' back in my pocket.
I am now consciously aware that all the men in the room keep their heads down and manicure their nails during the lesson. It doesn't take long to realize that I could be at a crowded airport, and I could pick out the church goer versus the non-church goer. Never again will it be difficult for me to figure out who is in need of the missionaries....for by their hands, you shall know them.
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