I Say It Best When I Say Nothing At All.....

We men are such shameless creatures. We believe it is okay to tell a lie or two, to anyone and everyone, in an effort to gain the thing we're after. Women, on the other hand, will be straight forward and brutally honest no matter what the circumstance. Not only will they be honest about a situation, they will educate you about it too. To give you an example, on Saturday, I went to Smith's to pick up a frozen pizza to bring home and bake for the kids and me. As I was walking through an aisle that had various outdoor items, such as tents and barbecue items, I saw a father hurriedly walking through that same aisle with two children close behind. His daughter stopped to admire a three-tiered water fountain that was active. The girl quickly asked, "dad, is this poison?" The father turned around, and before he could answer I knew what his response would be. His reply mimicked my thought, "yes, Honey, that is poison. Don't put your hand in there." In my...

Well, I had another dream. I just wish I had someone around like Joseph who could interpret the dreams for me. My fear, however, is that someday I may dream about 3 white baskets on my head and in the upper-most basket are bakemeats for the Pharaoh wherein birds are eating the things out of the basket on my head. The last poor bugger who dreamed this dream saw his demise three days later. I would really like to have some understanding to why Kevin Bacon continues to haunt me and my dreams. Perhaps one day he will inquire with Aspen Hills Mortgage for a loan, or maybe I have a hidden motive to be Footloose . Although my recent dream didn't directly involve Kevin Bacon, I did dream about something that reminded me of a movie. Do you remember the movie Freaky Friday? There have been different variations of the original. One came out in 2003 with Lindsay Lohan , but the one I remember was with Jodie Foster in 1976. The general plot summary for the movie is that a mother and daug...

Last night, I watched Jaws with my oldest son, Jeff. He has heard me go on and on about how this is my favorite movie of all time, and he finally was able to experience this movie with me. I've only seen this movie about 50 times, and I can almost quote each line word for word. Jeff had to be extremely patient with me as I rambled-off each sentence before the actors delivered their lines. My favorite part of the movie is set at sea while Chief Brody, Quint and Matt Hooper are all sitting around a table sharing stories. Chief Brody notices a scar on Quint's arm and asks him what it is. Quint explains that it was a tattoo he had removed. The tattoo was a symbol representing his service on the USS Indianapolis. This intrigues both Brody and Hooper to know more, so Quint tells of his experience. The story is so eerie and the setting at sea makes the story very compelling. Everyone who ever watches the movie listens intently as the story is told in Quint's Scottish accen...

I know this may be hard to believe, but last night, I dreamed about a badger. For whatever reason, I was in a golf cart with all of my office staff. There were 9 of us crammed into this thing. We were driving along, and every once in awhile, the driver would make a sharp turn and I would cling to the frame of the cart trying to stay on board. At one point, I fell out of the cart and landed next to a badger. He was not a friendly creature. He chased me all over the place. I tried to run away, but he managed to catch up with me and he immediately turned me into a mantel piece.....right next to Kevin Bacon.

The kids and I had hot dogs for dinner tonight. As we were eating, Jeff grabbed the mustard bottle and asked, "Dad, what's the first ingredient in mustard?" I answered, "vinegar." "You're right!" Bryson then grabbed the Ketchup bottle and asked me what the first ingredient was. I replied, "sugar!" "Nope, it's tomato paste." Bryson continued, "So, what are you made of?" Before I could answer, he said,"you are made of one part flesh, one part bone, one part vinegar, one part mean, one part funny, one part gas and one part bald."

My last post was about dreaming of hairy yaks. Well......this is what I dreamed about last night. The good ole American Bison. From what I can remember, I was looking for office space to lease and I ended up in a church and I was directed to a classroom that I could lease as a mortgage office. Upon entering the office, I walked into a forest with lots of Bison. Without a saddle, I rode the Bison bareback. Every once in awhile, he would get spooked by a Native American who attempted to shoot him and me with an arrow. He would run and run, and I successfully managed to stay on him. After riding him from the forest to the great Western Plains, I eventually ended up in Chicago. The Bison and I ended up on a second level building and he ran over the edge of the building and I fell until I landed perfectly sitting up-right at a restaurant table where I was entertained by Kevin Bacon. He thanked me for joining him and then left....leaving me to pay for his meal.

I sometimes think about why I blog. I don't really know why. I am generally an introverted person. I guess this is a way for me to express myself; or to allow others, who may not necessarily know me very well, an opportunity to get to know who I am and what I like. It gives me an opportunity to take 'center stage' when that isn't usually a place I am comfortable, but while expressing myself in writing, I get my point across and I sometimes see people chuckle. Seeing people laugh always makes me happy. The other day, I received an email from a prospective client. He was inquiring about mortgage interest rates. Funny thing, though: I have several email rules and filters setup on my Microsoft Outlook account, so if I receive an email with the word RATES in the subject line, my Outlook account automatically forwards it out to all of my employees. I do this so they have access to all of the different mortgage rate sheets and programs that come in from many of the di...