With some people, you can tell by the way they ask that they don't really care. Listen to how they say, "How are you?" They don't really say, "How are you?" They say, "How are ya?" Not the same. They hit the "are" and shortchange the "ya." "How are ya?"
Do you understand the difference?
"How are you?" is good.
It's all about you. "How are YOU? I'm interested in specifically you. Out of all the people in the world, how is it to be you? That's what concerns me primarily-- How you are?"
"How are ya?" is not the same thing.
"How are ya?" means "Just say 'good,' and walk away. I don't really want to know. Register that I asked, then proceed not to tell me."
Sometimes, people assign you to be greetings messenger. I don't pass on greetings when people tell me to. I don't need the pressure.
You see a friend, they say, "When you see Alan, tell him I said, "Hi.'"
Right, sure.
Problem is, if you say, "Hi" to Alan, he goes, "Oh, you saw Randall? Tell him I said, 'Hi.' How is he doing?"
Now I've got to run back to Randall, "Alan told me to tell you 'Hi' and wants to know how you're doing?"
"Oh, did you see him? How's he doing?"
Why don't the two of you get together and leave me out of it? I have things to do.
Do you understand the difference?
"How are you?" is good.
It's all about you. "How are YOU? I'm interested in specifically you. Out of all the people in the world, how is it to be you? That's what concerns me primarily-- How you are?"
"How are ya?" is not the same thing.
"How are ya?" means "Just say 'good,' and walk away. I don't really want to know. Register that I asked, then proceed not to tell me."
Sometimes, people assign you to be greetings messenger. I don't pass on greetings when people tell me to. I don't need the pressure.
You see a friend, they say, "When you see Alan, tell him I said, "Hi.'"
Right, sure.
Problem is, if you say, "Hi" to Alan, he goes, "Oh, you saw Randall? Tell him I said, 'Hi.' How is he doing?"
Now I've got to run back to Randall, "Alan told me to tell you 'Hi' and wants to know how you're doing?"
"Oh, did you see him? How's he doing?"
Why don't the two of you get together and leave me out of it? I have things to do.
I like your post. It is so true. That's why I have always hated that formality on the phone. It's because they don't really care and, frankly, I don't often either. If I called (or they called me) it's for a purpose; let's get down to it! Maybe people using the greeting, "Hey! What's up?" with a smile in their voice is more appropriate because you acknowledge the person with the tone but recognize they're calling because something's up.
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