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Tired of shaving

You ever see the guys who shave with an electric razor while they're driving? What is that about? Are you saying there isn't any other opportunity during the day to have a razor at their throat than while doing sixty around a curve?

Last night, we decided to go for a drive as a family to Heber City to let the boys see the trains and to eat and have ice cream at the Dairy Keen. On our return, as we traveled down Parley's Canyon, we were following a large semi and we watched the driver take the I-215 exit and veer left instead of right. The driver was heading down the wrong way on a one way section of road with cars heading straight for him. We didn't see an accident, but the driver definitely got himself into a pickle. I am convinced the driver was shaving!

I've actually tried not shaving, but it turns out I'm not a Beard Guy. Every once in awhile, you'll see me with the occasional 'goatee'. Certain guys can grow beards...and look good in them. I look, at best, like I'm on my way to something that may, ultimately, with a lot of work, become a beard.

My beard starts to look promising, and then in four days just gets tired and stops. People see me unshaven and ask, "Oh, what is that....three days, four days?" And I have to tell them, "Sadly, since last summer, but thank you for caring."

People always comment when they see facial hair. "So, are you growing a beard," they'll ask as they stroke their chin. I want to respond, "well, honestly, I just hate to shave."

The truth is, you miss one day of shaving, then try to use an electric razor.....it hurts! After a couple of days......"hmmmm, this is ANOTHER great opportunity to grow a goatee."

When I grow facial hair, the people who suffer most are Coralee and the kids. I try kissing Matthew on the cheek, and his lower lip sticks out and he begins to whimper. I try to kiss Rachel and she furrows her brow and says, "Stop It!" The older boys look at me funny if I try to kiss them........ the awkward stage of daddy kisses. I think at the age of two is where the line is drawn...."Dad, I'm a man now! If you'd rather give me a hug and do the butt slap thing...then I'm okay with that, but kisses......PLEASE!"

After we have family prayer at night, we have family hugs. The kids all love to give Matthew a kiss on his head. I've seen myself in the mirror, and I know that I have about as much hair on my head as Matthew does on his. Surely, people love to kiss bald heads. After the head kisses for Matthew, I knelt down next to Nathan, bent over and said, "do you want to kiss Daddy on the head?" The look he gave me was the same look he gives if he is asked to eat asparagus.

My dear Coralee, she suffers through the bearded kisses without complaint. I have to move in on her about 80% and let her come the other 20%. If she moves in with the correct angle and motion, she comes away with very few abrasions. If I try to go in 100% of the way for the kiss, plastic surgery may be necessary for the repair.

Comments

  1. I have found that shaving in the shower is the most tolerable way. I don't look good with facial hair either, too, so I start feeling like a dork after a week or so. You should try a neck beard at least once, though.

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