I Say It Best When I Say Nothing At All.....

I don't think it is easy to truly, "get away from it all," because like they say, "Wherever you go, there you are." Don't ask me to tell you who They are, but trust me, They said it. As many of you already know, I'm in the mortgage industry. There are days, like today, where I truly want to "get away from it all." It is so frustrating to be working so hard with a customer, only to have them yanked away by another mortgage company. In almost every case, they claim they are getting a better deal somewhere else. Hello people! This is called a bait-and-switch! I am already giving you the best deal. I'll be lucky to earn a mere $1000 on your loan....that guy is going to make $6000, and he has the same products I do. He'll continue to bait you along, making you believe you're getting the deal he promised, then you'll get to closing and he is going to sell you a new loan. You'll take it, because..."DARN! I've lo

I was sitting in my hot tub last night, and there in the tub with me was a small spider floating around, kicking his legs, and looking like he was having a grand ole time. I imagine he must have had some back pain after all of the webs he weaved that day. Here am I, trying to figure out how I'm going to get this thing out of the tub without touching him, because we all know that if I were to scoop him out with my hand, there is a very good possibility he would cling to me, bite me, then I would instantly be paralyzed, then slip under the water and die. Well, I have a little, yellow rubber ducky that entertains me. (Not only do I enjoy singing in the car, I sing in the hot tub. I make a great Ernie impression of "Rubber Ducky, You're the One!") This rubber ducky was my salvation. I used him as the device to lift the spider out of the tub. The spider no longer has to worry about back pain. Once he was lifted out of the tub and placed on the steps, I quickly grabbed my s

I like to sing to the radio while I'm driving, but I don't like others to see that I'm singing. To avoid the embarrassment of being caught singing, I monitor my mirrors constantly to see when another driver is approaching, then when they are within range that they can see me singing, I stop. This is sometimes hard, because I could be belting it out to Duran Duran or Howie Day and I'm harmonizing so well and I look to my left and Mr. Blue Suit is staring at me. Panic shows in his eyes. Mr. Conservative suddenly becomes very erratic in his driving, for clearly the man singing next to him is a nut job and may follow him home and sing to him at his dinner table. Most people just laugh at me. Parents driving mini-vans filled with children will point at me. I imagine their conversations are something like, "look children, that man belongs in an institution. You remember your Aunt Lilly? She started out that way." My cell phone is a great microphone for no au

You ever see the guys who shave with an electric razor while they're driving? What is that about? Are you saying there isn't any other opportunity during the day to have a razor at their throat than while doing sixty around a curve? Last night, we decided to go for a drive as a family to Heber City to let the boys see the trains and to eat and have ice cream at the Dairy Keen. On our return, as we traveled down Parley's Canyon, we were following a large semi and we watched the driver take the I-215 exit and veer left instead of right. The driver was heading down the wrong way on a one way section of road with cars heading straight for him. We didn't see an accident, but the driver definitely got himself into a pickle. I am convinced the driver was shaving! I've actually tried not shaving, but it turns out I'm not a Beard Guy. Every once in awhile, you'll see me with the occasional 'goatee'. Certain guys can grow beards...and look good in the

This is how I wake up every morning: My alarm clock is set for 7:00 AM. The radio is tuned to a country station. When it goes off each morning, I quickly reach over and shut it off so that I don't wake Coralee. In just the 0.70 seconds it takes me to wake, reach over and shut off the music, I have already determined what song is playing on the radio. I begin to sing (in my head that is...I'm still concerned about not waking Coralee), I continue to sing until I realize I don't know any of the words to the song. I roll over and see my bride sleeping sweetly and a series of thoughts comes to my head: "Isn't she beautiful?" "Isn't it wonderful I get to see this face I love every morning?" "Maybe someone else will go in and open the office this morning and I can continue to look at this face?" "What appointments do I have this morning? I wonder if I can bump them to the afternoon." "I can't bump those appointments to the

It seems we all get upset about killing animals if they're cute....like dolphins. You've heard the stories about people getting upset when dolphins are caught in tuna nets, but no one cares about the 10,000 dead tuna on the same boat. Little ugly tunas, one on top of the other, screaming for help, "Hey, someone get this crate off my eye!" No one seems to be concerned. Their fate is to be crammed into a can the size of a hockey puck. Dolphins are cute. They have great round, smiling faces, friendly eyes and a bald head....they look like me! :) You can't slaughter anything that looks like they might show up at your house for dinner. We're outraged when other cultures eat animals we don't. "They eat dogs? That's disgusting! What savages! How can someone eat a dog?" We eat chicken.... "Let's cut it up, put it in a bucket and we'll eat it in the car." They're not cute. They have that weird, triangle-on-the-hea

With some people, you can tell by the way they ask that they don't really care. Listen to how they say, "How are you?" They don't really say, "How are you?" They say, "How are ya?" Not the same. They hit the "are" and shortchange the "ya." "How are ya?" Do you understand the difference? "How are you ?" is good. It's all about you . " How are YOU? I'm interested in specifically you . Out of all the people in the world, how is it to be you ? That's what concerns me primarily-- How you are?" "How are ya?" is not the same thing. "How are ya?" means "Just say 'good,' and walk away. I don't really want to know. Register that I asked, then proceed not to tell me." Sometimes, people assign you to be greetings messenger. I don't pass on greetings when people tell me to. I don't need the pressure. You see a friend, they say, "