I Say It Best When I Say Nothing At All.....

Warning: This post is morbid. If the macabre makes you sick, please do not read on. If you can handle it, please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times until we come to a complete stop. ---------------- Apparently, a mayor in a small town in south west France has banned his township's residents from dying. He has threated "severe" punishment for anyone who disobeys. (article) The mayor was forced to take drastic action when he realized there was no more room in the graveyard. I would be interested to see what the "severe" punishment may be. Perhaps instead of a proper burial, these residents may be turned into Soylent Green . What a classic movie! This is part of my DVD collection, and you're welcome to borrow it if you'd like. (Spoiler alert: Soylent Green IS people). --------------- Speaking of a proper burial, that reminds me of a crazy dream I had the other night. Fortunately, Kevin Bacon did not haunt my dreams this ti...

For my recent television viewing pleasure (which happens to be the Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson ), I received a deluge of commercial advertising between monologue and guests. Since one particular night, a couple of advertisements have been playing over and over in my mind, kind of like a Fergie song (which happens to be Clumsy ). One of the advertisements was from a local home builder, whose name we shall reveal here to protect the innocent: Ivory Homes . The commercial begins showing a married couple in bed together (we shall assume married couple, because in today's world, only married couples would ever be found sharing a bed together). Now, before you get the wrong idea and think I am traveling down a wanton path, I will steer this in a completely different direction. As the camera moves in closer (did I mention this is a sleeping couple?), the man awakens and springs out of bed and walks over to the window that is shielded by shutters/blinds. While his beautiful...

When you hear of someone's passing, are you more concerned with how the survivors are dealing with it or, perhaps, are you most interested in hearing how the recently deceased left this world? As you are pondering this question, here are some Jack Handy quotes to influence you: I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. "Get down!" yelled Uncle Lou. "Don't move!" screamed Grandma. But Grandpa wouldn't listen. He walked to the edge of the roof and stuck out his arms, like he was going to fly. I forget what happened after that. Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around. My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him. If your friend ...