I Say It Best When I Say Nothing At All.....

Because the ground has thawed and it is very soft because of the recent snow and rain, I am realizing that the stake I have used to keep Jack secured in the backyard is NOT so very secure. He simply pulls this out of the ground, and then he runs all over the yard with his chain and stake attached. This weekend, I decided to connect his chain to the play fort. The only problem is, he will wind himself around all of the 4" x 4" posts, and when I look outside, I see that he is pinned to the side of the fort. So.... every few minutes, I go outside and untangle him, all the while cursing him about how stupid he is. "You really are dumb Jack! Why do you have to be so stupid Jack? Grow a brain Jack!" I then realize this sounds just like Gary Larson's, The Far Side cartoon where the dog is listening to his master and he hears, "Blah Blah Blah Jack! Blah Blah Blah Blah Jack? Blah Blah Blah Blah Jack!" The thought also crosses my mind that Jack does this

Before I left for work this morning, I told Coralee I was going to leave my dog, Jack, at home. I sometimes take Jack to work, but I have recently hired several new people and I am currently training them. I thought it was best to leave Jack at home so I wouldn't have to entertain him today. Jack has done a pretty good job at training me. I have mastered sitting and playing dead and rolling over. The latter is a great trick to perform for my employees and my clients. If there are more than five people in a room and I perform that trick, I can usually generate an applause. When Jack is left at home, he is on a chain that is connected to a ground stake that is near our children's play fort. This play fort is very old and is barely holding together. Coralee was encouraging this morning and suggested that perhaps Jack would chew on the legs of the fort and it would come tumbling down on top of him and kill him. She then asked me if I would miss Jack. I replied that I would

This morning, I fed Rissa a mix of peaches and oatmeal for breakfast. After every spoonful, she would blow raspberries at me. Many times, this happened long before she would swallow what she was given. The result: I am covered in baby food shrapnel. I am dressed in slacks, a white shirt and a tie. As I am typing this, my youngest son is showing me the interesting items that come from his nose. He was amused at the stickiness of it to his fingers, but has now become bored with that. The most logical place to put this is on my white shirt. I don't feel like changing my shirt, so I am going to church in my "daddy fatigues", and I don't even feel concerned about it.

Last night, I was sitting in a rocking chair and eating some Skittles my mom sent to our family for Valentine's Day. While I was munching away, Rachel came in: Rachel: "Can I have some?" Me: "No." Rachel: "Why not?" Me: "Because you've had so much sugar over the last couple of days, if you were to eat some more you would bleed sugar." Rachel: "Why are you eating candy?" Me: "Because I feel like it." Rachel: "Well, I feel like it too." How can I resist my beautiful little girl's charm?

I've been slacking in my patriarchal duties of keeping our family on task at reading scriptures daily. I need to be much better at this. We did, however, read scriptures on Sunday night. Nathan is in kindergarten this year and he is learning to read. We try to have him sound out some words occasionally. He began, "Behold, it came to piss." Oh, if scripture reading was always this entertaining.....

Have you ever played the game, Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon? The idea is that any actor/actress can be linked, through their film roles, to Kevin Bacon. The game requires a group of players to try to connect any film actor in history to Kevin Bacon as quickly as possible and in as few links as possible. An example would be: Val Kilmer was in Top Gun with Tom Cruise and Tom was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon, this would give a Bacon number of 2. Why am I bringing up Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon? I have no idea....other than the fact that I dreamed about him the other night. This was a very strange dream. I was dreaming about printing loan applications and every time I would hit the print icon on my computer screen, Kevin Bacon would appear. This would happen over and over again. I guess this means my degree of separation to Kevin Bacon is only one. I don't even like Kevin Bacon. Why couldn't my dream involve someone hot like Jessica Alba or Natalie Portman or Angelina Jol