I Say It Best When I Say Nothing At All.....

It has been awhile since Cora and I have had a chance to go to a movie together. I think we last saw Million Dollar Baby, but coordinating that night out was like a strategic military operation for an invasion of a small country. We had to incorporate two-star generals to successfully pull it off. When you have five children, nothing is spontaneously arranged anymore. It requires days or weeks of planning. Technology is a good thing. It's nice to know that you can purchase your movie tickets in advance and on the internet. The old way of getting movie tickets was always a frustration, but as a seasoned married couple, we were good at it. You can actually split up responsibilities: "Honey, I'm gonna park the car, you get out and buy the tickets...I'll meet you in line." We were a precision drill team. "Okay, you get in the ticket buyer's line. I will park the car, come around the northwest corner and get in the ticket holder's line. I'm at

"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished." "Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? you guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..." Roses are red, violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are you The roses have wilted, the violets are dead, The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head The roses stink, sorta like sheep But leave your name, number, and message after the beep The roses are molding, the violets are rotten And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message a

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. I doubt, therefore I might be. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. The older you get, the better you realize you were. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Women like silent men, they think they're listening. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I love scary books and movies. Allow me to read you a story: Miss Emmeline Takes Off by Walter Brooks When the old Valiant house on the lake was sold for taxes, Miss Emmeline Valiant went to live at Mrs. Purdy's. She took very little with her. She took Thomas, her cat, and her family portraits. The rest of the things were ......... WHAM!...... ZZZzzzzzzzzzzz Hmmmm. Let me try this again: When the old Valiant house on the lake was sold for taxes, Miss Emmeline Valiant went to live at Mrs. Purdy's. She took very little with......... KONK!........ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz "Come on man! You can get through this....just get to the next chapter!" When the old Valiant house on the lake was sold........ BLAM!..............ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I awaken to my wife shaking me and she asks: "Are those three words starting to make sense yet?"