Warning: This post is morbid. If the macabre makes you sick, please do not read on. If you can handle it, please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times until we come to a complete stop.
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Apparently, a mayor in a small town in south west France has banned his township's residents from dying. He has threated "severe" punishment for anyone who disobeys. (article) The mayor was forced to take drastic action when he realized there was no more room in the graveyard.
I would be interested to see what the "severe" punishment may be. Perhaps instead of a proper burial, these residents may be turned into Soylent Green. What a classic movie! This is part of my DVD collection, and you're welcome to borrow it if you'd like. (Spoiler alert: Soylent Green IS people).
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Speaking of a proper burial, that reminds me of a crazy dream I had the other night. Fortunately, Kevin Bacon did not haunt my dreams this time around.
A friend of mine, who we will call Steve (because this is his real name to protect the innocent), died. I was hired to drive the hearse, but the only vehicle I could find was a Ford F350 Super Duty pickup truck. The truck had a shell over the bed, so in my mind, that makes a pretty good replication of a hearse.
The family couldn't afford a casket for Steve, so we just wrapped his body in toilet paper and threw him into the back of the truck. Now as I reflect back on the experience of this dream, I think maybe we should have tied him down.
Steve's family hopped into the cab of the truck and we were off to cemetery. Every few minutes, Steve's son would say, "I need to stop and use the bathroom." I would pull the truck over to the side of the road so that he could take care of business, but each time I swerved over to the side of the road I would hear Steve's body roll around in the back of the truck. Everybody would laugh and say, "oh well, what more damage can we do?"
After the potty breaks, we finally reach our destination. There were no pall bearers, so I had to lift Steve out of the truck by his arms and drag him over to his final resting place. I did my best to stretch him out over the straps, anchored by pulleys, but I accidentally dropped him into the plot. There were a few screams, but then everybody started chanting in unison, "oh well, what more damage can we do?"
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Now that I have typed all of this up, I hesitate to push the "publish post" button. A few minutes have now gone by, "should I or shouldn't I?"
Oh well, what more damage can I do, eh? If you are reading this, I pushed the button.
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Apparently, a mayor in a small town in south west France has banned his township's residents from dying. He has threated "severe" punishment for anyone who disobeys. (article) The mayor was forced to take drastic action when he realized there was no more room in the graveyard.
I would be interested to see what the "severe" punishment may be. Perhaps instead of a proper burial, these residents may be turned into Soylent Green. What a classic movie! This is part of my DVD collection, and you're welcome to borrow it if you'd like. (Spoiler alert: Soylent Green IS people).
---------------
Speaking of a proper burial, that reminds me of a crazy dream I had the other night. Fortunately, Kevin Bacon did not haunt my dreams this time around.
A friend of mine, who we will call Steve (because this is his real name to protect the innocent), died. I was hired to drive the hearse, but the only vehicle I could find was a Ford F350 Super Duty pickup truck. The truck had a shell over the bed, so in my mind, that makes a pretty good replication of a hearse.
The family couldn't afford a casket for Steve, so we just wrapped his body in toilet paper and threw him into the back of the truck. Now as I reflect back on the experience of this dream, I think maybe we should have tied him down.
Steve's family hopped into the cab of the truck and we were off to cemetery. Every few minutes, Steve's son would say, "I need to stop and use the bathroom." I would pull the truck over to the side of the road so that he could take care of business, but each time I swerved over to the side of the road I would hear Steve's body roll around in the back of the truck. Everybody would laugh and say, "oh well, what more damage can we do?"
After the potty breaks, we finally reach our destination. There were no pall bearers, so I had to lift Steve out of the truck by his arms and drag him over to his final resting place. I did my best to stretch him out over the straps, anchored by pulleys, but I accidentally dropped him into the plot. There were a few screams, but then everybody started chanting in unison, "oh well, what more damage can we do?"
-----------
Now that I have typed all of this up, I hesitate to push the "publish post" button. A few minutes have now gone by, "should I or shouldn't I?"
Oh well, what more damage can I do, eh? If you are reading this, I pushed the button.
you are a twisted, twisted man. And I love it. Great blog, dude, keep up the good work. You know what's great about wrapping steve up in toilet paper? At least you had it for all of the potty breaks! :)
ReplyDeleteI love crazy dreams! I love waking up thinking, "What the poop!" That was a CRAZY dream. Do you think all the potty breaks and toilet paper was your brain trying to tell you something?-Sarah
ReplyDeleteCorey you did it again! You really need to publish these blogs of yours, they are so well written and so funny!
ReplyDeleteSo all I could see is you in this MULLET wrapping a dead body up in TP wearing some really tight wrestler levis. Could be because of Tyler and Lacey's last post, but I think you could TOTALLY pull it off!! The name Joe Dirt "E" came to mind.. What a creepy dream! Tell me did. What on earth did you eat before you fell asleep that night. I wanna try it for some entertainment. All I get when I fall asleep is a Baby crying.. I long for something a bit more entertaining..
ReplyDelete