My Sunday Diary-January 27th

During Sacrament Meeting on Sunday, Karissa decided it would be great fun to pull each of the Hymn Books off of their shelves and hand them to each member in our family. We were only allowed to hold onto them for about four seconds and she would retrieve them and place them back onto their shelves. This process continued for about 20 minutes.

The most entertaining part of this show was watching her heave these books with all her might. As she would do so, the momentum would throw her into the bench we were all sitting on. She would hit the bench with enough force, she would immediately bounce back and hit the bench on the opposite side. She'd hit that with enough force that she would fall down. It was like watching a human pinball machine.

I looked around for popcorn and a soda, but the best I could come up with was a piece of gum that was tucked inside my suit coat pocket. As I popped a stick of gum into my mouth, Nathan saw me and said, "can I have some?"

I looked around to see if any of the other children were watching. I figured I was safe, so I pulled out a piece of gum for him and told him to keep quiet so the other kids didn't see. I covertly placed the gum in his hand and he quickly threw it into his mouth.

A few minutes later, he looked down to the end of the bench and saw one of his siblings retrieve a piece of candy from somewhere. He audibly cries, "Oh, they got candy! That's not fair!"

Rachel, hearing Nathan's plight, immediately looks to the end of the bench to see who is receiving candy. At this point, Bryson decides it is a prime opportunity to dig his forefinger into her ribs. She immediately skyrockets a few inches above her seat.

I grab Bryson's arm and tell him to knock it off. "Okay," he says.

I notice both of his shoes are untied and I advise him to tie them. As he pulls up each leg to do so, I can see that both of his socks are inside-out and one is blue and one is black. I roll my eyes and tell him to pay attention to what he is wearing when he gets dressed in the morning.

"Can I go to the bathroom," he asks.

"Yes."

He leaves. Shortly afterward, my focus returns to the speaker at the pulpit. She is now talking about reverence in church and the importance of getting drinks and using the bathroom before Sacrament Meeting so that a distraction isn't created while getting up during someone's talk.

I just close my eyes and think....."this is par for the course."

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Later that afternoon:

Matthew decides it is time to go to the bathroom. He has been potty training, so the new endeavor occasionally requires an audience.

I decide to sit on a stool in the bathroom next to him so that I can help him clean up when he is done. Just then, Rachel walks in. Apparently, she has discovered that a girl's anatomy is a little different from that of a woman.

She is wearing a dress and decides to pull each of her arms inside each sleeve. She crosses her arms across her chest and raises her elbows. The lifeless sleeves dangle next to her body, but with her arms folded and elbows protruding from the dress, she announces, "Look dad! I'm big!"

I don't even know how to respond to this.

I look back to Matthew who is bouncing up and down on the toilet seat. He looked like he was riding a Kangaroo Ball.

"What are you doing," I ask.

"I can't get it to come out. It stuck!"

At least he has the right idea.