Life Is A Competition

I was entertained by two of my young nephews on Sunday.  One showed the other a toy and said proudly, "this is my car and I'm big enough to take care of it."  The other, not to be bested by this revelation said, "ya, so, I'm five."

This caused me to reflect on other young challenges.

"My dad is bigger than your dad."  By the way, this is an argument my child has never won.  In unique fashion my child may counter with, "oh yeah, well, my dad has less hair than your dad."  You can hear the boldness of the statement fades in its delivery as my child realizes this may not be something to be proud of.


So much in life seems to be a competition.  We have desires to be the first to declare tidings.  News agencies will claim, "you heard it hear first."

Athletic teams reunite every year to compete and be declared that season's champion.

Chickens have pecking orders, dogs have an Alpha. Horses will have a Boss and this dominance is demonstrated daily so the other animals will always recognize their position in the herd.

With the introduction of social media, we seek out more followers on Twitter or more friends on Facebook.

We see people strive to achieve higher status and position.  We're not happy to just provide for our needs.  We seek for more riches and to have more toys than our friends and neighbors.

In more recent years, it seems economic competition is becoming more prevalent in the process of production, consumption and distribution of goods.

Political competition takes place in the political field and seems to be more fierce than I remember.  Less and less do we seek to find more common ground with our opponent.  Instead, we find more reasons we are less like each other.  Political parties are always engaged in competition to capture more power.  Even on an international level, there is a keen competition between nations.

As I was compiling these thoughts about the competitive nature of society, I remembered something I had heard once about New Zealand and the people there being more unified.  Sure enough, I stumbled upon this in my research:  http://www.newzealandnow.govt.nz/living-in-nz/safe-secure/getting-along-with-others

New Zealand has a dedicated page about how their people get along with each other because of a strong set of shared values about what's important in life and how people should behave.  Perhaps there are no alpha dogs or boss horses in New Zealand.

Although we may not be able to change the competitive nature of our current society, perhaps there are some ways we may get along better with each other.  I have put together a list of things I hope to improve in.

1. Think first of the other individual.  This is probably the most difficult for me to do, but is probably the most important.  
2. Build up the other person's sense of importance.  When I make another person feel less important, I frustrate an individual's deepest desire.  Allow the other person to feel equality, or perhaps even superiority.
3. Give sincere appreciation.  If someone does something well, I shouldn't hesitate to let him/her know.  This isn't obvious flattery, but a genuine appreciation for the task the individual accomplishes.
4. Eliminate the negative.  Criticism, even when constructive, seldom does what it was intended for.  It often causes resentment.
5. Avoid openly trying to reform people.  Every person knows he/she is imperfect, but doesn't want someone else correcting those faults.
6. Develop a genuine interest in people.  If I open up and genuinely seek an interest in other people and find out what makes them who they are, I may find more common interest with those individuals and find fewer things we don't agree on.

If all else fails and I fall back into the self loathing, competitive person I am; perhaps I'll move to New Zealand.