As I am sitting here, I am flipping through a book that belongs to Jeff. It is called the Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook.
In the very beginning of the book there is a WARNING. When a life is imperiled or a dire situation is at hand, safe alternatives may not exist. To deal with the worst-case scenarios presented in ths book, we highly recommend--insist, actually--that the best course of action is to consult a professionally trained expert. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO UNDERTAKE ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES DESCRIBED IN THIS BOOK YOURSELF.
It is fascinating to see the perilous situations outlined in this book. Some of them are: How to Escape from Quicksand, How to Escape from a Sinking Car, How to Fend Off a Shark, How to Wrestle Free from an Alligator, How to Escape from Killer Bees, How to Win a Sword Fight, How to Land a Plane, How to Survive If Your Parachute Fails to Open.
Wow! Can you only hope your life would be so exciting that you may actually face these types of situations? The authors of the book recommend consulting with a professionally trained expert before attempting any of the activities. Where are you going to find one of these "so-called" experts when you're in a perilous situation?
Shortly after I finish this blog, I am going to look up Professionally Trained Experts in the Yellow Pages for each of these frightening situations and program their phone numbers into my cell phone directory. As I pull into the parking lot of my office on Monday morning, and as the Samurai jumps out of the bushes with a sword, I can quickly hit the speed dial of the World Renowned Swordsman and ask him how to win the battle. If I am lucky, within a few minutes, I will be sitting at my desk reviewing mortgage files.
I don't spend much time fishing because I've searched the Yellow Pages for an Alligator expert, but I haven't been able to find one. One of my biggest fears in life is to be fishing the Lower Provo River and have an alligator jump out of the water and take off my arm just as I'm casting the line.
The dangers I face each day are scary in themselves. For example, I am sure you have all seen the warning labels on Vending Machines. Warning! Never rock or tilt. Machine can fall over and cause serious injury or death. Vending machine will not dispense free product. Because of this warning, I don't listen to music while walking near vending machines. There is always a chance I may break out into a dance and then vending machines would all start falling over. Even if I were able to avoid the falling machines, I still wouldn't get a free soda.
Matthew has a little walker that has a warning label on it: WARNING! STAIR HAZARD. AVOID SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. BLOCK STAIRS/STEPS SECURELY BEFORE USING WALKER. This is why we don't invite anyone over to the house over the age of 90. I don't want an old man's obituary to say, "C-MO has stairs...he killed me!"
There are warning labels everywhere you go. We went camping this weekend and there are signs posted at the campsite advising people of the danger of bears. Jeff and Bryse both wanted to sleep in a tent a hundred yards or so from our tent trailer. We asked the children if they had any food and/or candy in their pockets or tent. We warned them of the danger of bears if there is food left out at the campsite. Both agreed there was no food or candy in their pockets or tent, but the result was a frightened Bryson who decided it was best to sleep in the tent trailer with us.
It is a miracle if any of us survive at all. With all of the warning labels attached to everything these days, one lives in constant fear. I think I may have even read a warning label on my way out of the birth canal on my way to life on earth. WARNING! GO BACK! NOTHING HERE WORTH SHAKING A STICK AT! WHAT WERE YOUR PARENTS THINKING? This is why children come into the world screaming. They try to swim upstream and stay in the womb, but mother's abdominal muscles are too strong. By the time they realize they don't want to be here, it is too late.
Even as parents, we recognize that instilling fear in a child sometimes gets us the results we need. I found this a few weeks ago after taking the family to Cafe Rio for dinner. Rachel and Nathan were both screaming and kicking their legs. Cora looked at me and said, "go ahead and take them out to the car." I grabbed the baby and took Rachel by the hand and asked Nathan to follow. He continued to throw a fit. People everywhere were looking at me and wondering what in the world I was doing to these poor children and why would all three of them be screaming?
As I got outside, a mother approached me and asked if she could help. I told her it was okay and that my wife was inside. She consoled me and said she was a mother of several children and it was a real challenge for her to go anywhere alone. She told me to cherish these younger years, because the children WILL grow up.
Nathan continued to scream and I could not get him to follow me to the car. I decided it was best to leave him on the sidewalk and at least get Rachel and Matthew into the car, then I would return and retrieve him. As I walked away from Nathan, Rachel started screaming even louder. She was now afraid I was going to leave Nathan behind.
I got Rachel and Matthew buckled in their car seats, then went after Nathan. He started running circles trying to avoid me, still screaming at the top of his lungs. I wasn't about to go running after him; my athletic days are through. The first thought that crossed my mind was, all of these people are going to think I'm trying to kidnap this child. Nate continued to run down the sidewalk to get away from me....my mind was racing, what can I tell him to keep him from running away from me.... a ha, I will scare him... "Hey Nate, you better not run away from me, there is a stranger over there!" He immediately stopped, looked over his shoulder and I caught up to him. Yeee haaah! Success! I wrestled with him, but was eventually able to get him strapped into his car seat.
Well, it is getting late and I still need to look up all those phone numbers. I am afraid to go to sleep tonight, however, because I might have a dream where I fall off of a tall building and I may not wake up before I hit the ground.
I've seen those warning labels on pillows.
In the very beginning of the book there is a WARNING. When a life is imperiled or a dire situation is at hand, safe alternatives may not exist. To deal with the worst-case scenarios presented in ths book, we highly recommend--insist, actually--that the best course of action is to consult a professionally trained expert. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO UNDERTAKE ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES DESCRIBED IN THIS BOOK YOURSELF.
It is fascinating to see the perilous situations outlined in this book. Some of them are: How to Escape from Quicksand, How to Escape from a Sinking Car, How to Fend Off a Shark, How to Wrestle Free from an Alligator, How to Escape from Killer Bees, How to Win a Sword Fight, How to Land a Plane, How to Survive If Your Parachute Fails to Open.
Wow! Can you only hope your life would be so exciting that you may actually face these types of situations? The authors of the book recommend consulting with a professionally trained expert before attempting any of the activities. Where are you going to find one of these "so-called" experts when you're in a perilous situation?
Shortly after I finish this blog, I am going to look up Professionally Trained Experts in the Yellow Pages for each of these frightening situations and program their phone numbers into my cell phone directory. As I pull into the parking lot of my office on Monday morning, and as the Samurai jumps out of the bushes with a sword, I can quickly hit the speed dial of the World Renowned Swordsman and ask him how to win the battle. If I am lucky, within a few minutes, I will be sitting at my desk reviewing mortgage files.
I don't spend much time fishing because I've searched the Yellow Pages for an Alligator expert, but I haven't been able to find one. One of my biggest fears in life is to be fishing the Lower Provo River and have an alligator jump out of the water and take off my arm just as I'm casting the line.
The dangers I face each day are scary in themselves. For example, I am sure you have all seen the warning labels on Vending Machines. Warning! Never rock or tilt. Machine can fall over and cause serious injury or death. Vending machine will not dispense free product. Because of this warning, I don't listen to music while walking near vending machines. There is always a chance I may break out into a dance and then vending machines would all start falling over. Even if I were able to avoid the falling machines, I still wouldn't get a free soda.
Matthew has a little walker that has a warning label on it: WARNING! STAIR HAZARD. AVOID SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. BLOCK STAIRS/STEPS SECURELY BEFORE USING WALKER. This is why we don't invite anyone over to the house over the age of 90. I don't want an old man's obituary to say, "C-MO has stairs...he killed me!"
There are warning labels everywhere you go. We went camping this weekend and there are signs posted at the campsite advising people of the danger of bears. Jeff and Bryse both wanted to sleep in a tent a hundred yards or so from our tent trailer. We asked the children if they had any food and/or candy in their pockets or tent. We warned them of the danger of bears if there is food left out at the campsite. Both agreed there was no food or candy in their pockets or tent, but the result was a frightened Bryson who decided it was best to sleep in the tent trailer with us.
It is a miracle if any of us survive at all. With all of the warning labels attached to everything these days, one lives in constant fear. I think I may have even read a warning label on my way out of the birth canal on my way to life on earth. WARNING! GO BACK! NOTHING HERE WORTH SHAKING A STICK AT! WHAT WERE YOUR PARENTS THINKING? This is why children come into the world screaming. They try to swim upstream and stay in the womb, but mother's abdominal muscles are too strong. By the time they realize they don't want to be here, it is too late.
Even as parents, we recognize that instilling fear in a child sometimes gets us the results we need. I found this a few weeks ago after taking the family to Cafe Rio for dinner. Rachel and Nathan were both screaming and kicking their legs. Cora looked at me and said, "go ahead and take them out to the car." I grabbed the baby and took Rachel by the hand and asked Nathan to follow. He continued to throw a fit. People everywhere were looking at me and wondering what in the world I was doing to these poor children and why would all three of them be screaming?
As I got outside, a mother approached me and asked if she could help. I told her it was okay and that my wife was inside. She consoled me and said she was a mother of several children and it was a real challenge for her to go anywhere alone. She told me to cherish these younger years, because the children WILL grow up.
Nathan continued to scream and I could not get him to follow me to the car. I decided it was best to leave him on the sidewalk and at least get Rachel and Matthew into the car, then I would return and retrieve him. As I walked away from Nathan, Rachel started screaming even louder. She was now afraid I was going to leave Nathan behind.
I got Rachel and Matthew buckled in their car seats, then went after Nathan. He started running circles trying to avoid me, still screaming at the top of his lungs. I wasn't about to go running after him; my athletic days are through. The first thought that crossed my mind was, all of these people are going to think I'm trying to kidnap this child. Nate continued to run down the sidewalk to get away from me....my mind was racing, what can I tell him to keep him from running away from me.... a ha, I will scare him... "Hey Nate, you better not run away from me, there is a stranger over there!" He immediately stopped, looked over his shoulder and I caught up to him. Yeee haaah! Success! I wrestled with him, but was eventually able to get him strapped into his car seat.
Well, it is getting late and I still need to look up all those phone numbers. I am afraid to go to sleep tonight, however, because I might have a dream where I fall off of a tall building and I may not wake up before I hit the ground.
I've seen those warning labels on pillows.
Sounds much like the experience we have every time we go out to eat... we finally just started leaving the kids in the car from the very beginning, going in to the restaurant and eating, getting their food to go and meeting them back in the car. During the hot summer months we try to hurry.
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