I'm home

For those of you who don't know, for the last couple of months I have been working from my home. 

Earlier this year, I was able to see the end of a long-term lease and given the current state of the economy; including the mortgage industry, it just made sense to close the office and save myself a lot of money by working from home.  For the most part, this has worked really well.  

I have lost a few employees in transition, but those who have chosen to remain with me seem pleased with the opportunity to also work from home.  The great thing about current technology is that there is really no decrease in the quality of the service we can provide for our customers.  The direction we have been going over the last several years is to be internet specific and to provide services for people that did not require a face-to-face interaction.

Admittedly, there are some things I do miss about working in an office.  The best part was having good people around me and being able to associate with them.

But, there were also things that I didn't like about working in an office.  Particularly were the visits from Account Executives from various mortgage lenders and title companies.  On occasion, we would also have sales people drop in from copy machine companies, large box stores, telephone service providers, etc.

It would seem that working in a business complex places you at the mercy of anyone with professional attire, a business card and an agenda.

On one occasion, a man popped into the office with several bottles of cologne and he began squirting everybody who was within a few inches of his saunter.  I knew when he was getting closer to my office, because each person from the front door to my office would let out a shriek as they were attacked with a putrid mist.  As he got closer, the shrieks would get louder.

Before he could enter my office, I quickly jumped to my feet and quietly closed my office door.

Drat!  He probably knows I'm in here.  Maybe I'll sneak out the back door.

I tiptoed across the room and quietly opened my back door.  I snuck outside and laughed to myself about my talented ability to escape the salesman.

As I walked around outside waiting for the salesman to leave, I noticed a snake slithering across the lawn.  Who is the bigger reptile, you or that salesman?

About 10 minutes later, I figured it had been long enough and that it was safe to go back inside. To be certain, I called one of my employees and asked if the coast was clear.  I was informed that it was definitely safe for me to return, so I walked back into my office.....to find the salesman sitting in a chair across from my desk.  Apparently, my employees were not amused with my escape and eagerly escorted the man into my office and told him I would return shortly.

In my embarrassment, I quickly addressed the salesman, "Howdy, what can I do for you?"

"Oh, it's all about what I can do for you" and he squirted me with something that smelled like peanut butter and pepperoni.  "It's only $25.00."

I shrieked!

"I was hoping you were an exterminator.  I've got a snake outside."

He says, "where?"

"It slithered right beneath my feet out on the grass."

"Hey, I tell you what.  For $45 I'll get rid of it for you.  Better yet, for $100, I'll bring you a mongoose, because you know if one snake is around, there's gotta be thousands of 'em"

"Don't you think that $25 bottle of cologne might do a better job than a mongoose?"

Reluctantly, he agreed.  

I thanked him for his time, turned down all offers and escorted him to the front door to see him off.

After he left, I got to thinking of his proposal of a mongoose and I realized that things wouldn't end at that.  I would be afraid of the mongoose and I'd have to get something to get rid of it.  The animals would just keep getting bigger and bigger and I'd end up with a hippopotamus in the office.

"Don't worry, my fellow employees.  It is here to scare away the bison.  Did you notice there were no bison around?  Why do you think that is?  They're scared.  Nice, huh?  Cologne Man was here today, he explained the whole thing; for $45 bucks, we're bison-free for a year."